you already know... 15 comments before next update ! ;D  i've learned that sometimes, all you can say is "fuck it" and just live.  class is knowing what to say, when to say it, and when to stop.  try not to bruise your knees when you come crawling back to me.  seeing a spider is nothing. it becomes a problem when it disappears.  if someone says "i love you" and you don't feel the same way, just say "i love youtube" really fast.  your first love. you know who i'm talking about, because i bet you read the words "first love" and that one boy just came to mind. there's nothing like that first boy you were afraid to love. that one boy that you knew it was love, despite what others said. that one boy who changed your expectations and that one boy who you compare all the future boys with. because deep down inside, you knew he was the one. the one who sets the standards for love.  you promise you wont hurt me ? i've heard that so many times and the promise is always broken. i wont believe it until you prove it. and to be honest, i can tell you mean it but im still afraid. thank all the assholes that fucked me over for that. 
“i love you.” don’t say that. just don’t. because i’ll believe it. we’ll say all these cute things to each other, and i’ll go to bed smiling every night. we’ll have those “i love you more” fights. and then one day you’ll wake up and decide that you don’t love me anymore. just like that, and take it all back. and don’t tell me you won’t because you will, just like he did.  open house party: the ridiculously amazing party that everyone wants to go to but no one wants to host.  the people who really care won't hurt you, but if they do, you will see it in their eyes, for they will be hurting too.  real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he's got her.  if you send nothing but one word texts and she still replies, she's probably into you.  how about an iPhone app where you just sigh loudly and it fixes whatever is bothering you ?  tell me i'm not making a mistake. tell me that you're worth the wait, that you're always going to be here. make me believe that i'm making the right decision by still holding on. show me that you're going to be around to catch me when i fall.  when i was with him, i didn't have to be perfect, or even try for perfect. he already knew my secrets, the things i'd kept hidden from everyone else, so i could just be myself. which shouldn't have been such a big deal. but it was.  whatever you are, be a good one.  ^lmao(;  roses are red, violets are blue. you actually thought i would cry over you ? i told you i loved you, and you thought it was true, but guess what player ? you got played too.  if you're not working on trying to be mine, then you shouldn't be worrying about who's consuming my spare time.  i've decided that i'm going to treat people exactly how they treat me. most people should be glad. some should be very scared.  if steroids are illegal for athletes, shouldn't photo shop be illegal for models ?  dating is like smoking. when you quit, you can’t understand why you started and when you start again, you can’t understand why you quit.  if someone texts "k", just reply "l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z".  i’m not always as confident as i seem. there are many nights and many days when all i want is to be held. i love being held. always. sometimes i don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. sometimes i just want a hug. someone who will let me cry. i like when boys cry in front of me, when people aren’t afraid to show what they're really feeling. i don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. i wear my heart on my sleeve, but i am not naive. i know what it feels like to be completely broken and i am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. i know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. i’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. my feelings have been blatantly disregarded. but i still believe that all people are good at heart. and my trust in people has not diminished. to be completely honest, i hope it never does. ever.  admit it girls. we've all had that delusion where we think a guy likes us just because he's looking our way.  i felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. i think you know it. i think everybody knows it now and then. but i think i have known it pretty often, too often.  what happened to us ? we were perfect together. one day i woke up and nothing was the same anymore. i miss being your favorite reason to smile and i miss seeing your name in my inbox every morning. most importantly, i hate how im sitting here not knowing if i ever cross your mind.  so what ? we only talk when it's convenient for you ? what about the times i lie in bed, clutching my tear stained pillow over my throbbing mouth, trying to contain a scream that's releasing all the exploding nerve endings ? what ? are you too busy playing xbox to bother text me back ? jackass.  don’t give up until you can say “i’m happy” and mean it.  i bet you didn't know that i'm terrified of the dark, and every time i think of you, i smile. i bet you don't know that i hate thunderstorms, but love dancing in the rain, or how much i laugh with my friends and how much i truly enjoy being happy. i bet you don't know how many tears i've cried just for you, or how much i doubt myself every day. i bet you don't know how ticklish i am or how i can't make decisions alone and how it absolutley drives me crazy whenever you look at me.  ^lmao  i am the kind of girl who enjoys the chase. i get a thrill when it comes to winning someone over and making them fall in love with me. then when rough times in a relationship emerge, i run off kicking and screaming. i analyzed my actions once. i came to the conclusion that i'm afraid of getting too close to someone because i'm scared to get hurt. when a boy takes one step forward, i take three steps back. i've done this my whole life. it is my greatest downfall, the reason i have lost so many loves.  i've kissed and hugged a lot of different boys. but, to this day, i can still taste your tangerine gum when i think about you. i can still feel your muscular arms around me. i'm still crazy about you, but you moved on so fast and thats what kills me, you mean so much more to me then i ever did to you.  yeah, it's cute when people who have a lot in common date each other. but i prefer somebody i can argue with and in the end, agree to disagree, and then make out. really, why date yourself ?  that's the problem with us, we're too much alike. we're stubborn asses and always want to get our own way. we both hate to be wrong and love to be right. but that's the thing about love. no matter what happens, we always come back for each other one more time.  i've always followed my heart instead of my head. i've always jumped, always took that leap of faith into the unknown, having no idea of what the outcome of my actions would be. but now, now it's so very clear. i need to stop following my heart. i just need to stop, before i do anything at all. i need to stop and think about it, about what i am about to do. i need to think about whether it is right or it is wrong. because when you follow your heart, you lose track of what's right and what's wrong, and it tears you apart.  i'm not ready for a relationship. you know why ? because i'm not ready for sex and that's all most guys seem to want nowadays.  awh baby, what happened ? did you wish for a dick and become one instead ?  people will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you but how strong you stand, is what makes you.  for any of us, forever can end in an hour, or a hundred years from now. you can never know for sure, so you better make every second count. -Sarah Dessen.  i've discovered that throwing yourself all over guys and asking them out and flirting with them isn't going to help you get a boyfriend. it's the waiting, the times when you're nearly going to give up because you're done trying, that's when he notices you. that is what you need to wait for.  sometimes, i just say "i'm fine" because it's difficult to find someone who actually listens and cares about my life.  i don't hate you, i just really don't appreciate your existence.  i tried so hard. you know that, right ? i tried harder than you could ever imagine, and now here i am, trying my best just to forget everything. every piece of you, the way you smell, the feel of your skin. i can still feel you. i think i always will.  you were gorgeous, until your 30 day trial of photoshop ended.  ^lolol  right ?!^  i don't want to hurt you, but i don't think i like you anymore. something inside me ruins all my relationships. because whenever i get too close to someone, the feelings always disappear. and after they leave, the feelings always come back.  i say i'm over him but am i really ? of course not, he was the boy that i got butterflies in my stomach when i saw him. the boy i waited for to come online, the boy that if he smiled at me, nothing else could bring me down. but he is also the boy that didn't love me back. so if anyone asks, i'll just say, "oh him ? he was nothing." when really, he was everything and more.  you told me you liked me, i didn't know what to do because i have a boyfriend, and i didn't like you back. now you tell me you don't like me, i should be relieved. so how come i feel like crap ?  i still get chills when i listen to these songs that you mentioned. you probably think that i've forgotten about you. but no, i still think about you everyday, if not more. you were my first love, or so i thought. no, i don't like, or love you still. i got over you finally, but you taught me so much. and i just wanted to thank you. those were some of the best months of my life. don't let any girl tell you that all you are is an asshole, cause you're not. sure you have you moments, but don't we all ? you're just about the greatest thing that has happened to me. and you'll always have a spot in my heart and give me chills whenever i see your name.  i am just so sick and tired of this. i want to be alright without you. i want to be able to go a month, a week, a day, an hour without thinking of you. without wondering why it is you don't care at all anymore. i just am so sick and tired of needing you in my life knowing that you only make me sad.  mad for what ? for breaking my heart ? or taking my innocence away ? all the lies ? maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed ? or the way you think it’s crazy that i’m crying over it, cause you think breaking up is no big deal ? am i mad ? no. more like crushed.  when i'm alone, i think of so many things to say to you, but when i have a chance to tell you, i go speechless.  there are two reasons why people don't talk about something. either it doesn't mean anything to them or it means everything.  it's easiest when i don't see him, i won't deny that. but i just want to be able to see him without it hurting. i don't want him out of my life forever. i don't want to forget about him. i don't want him to forget me. i really, really don't.  did i mention, when i see you it stings like hell, due to the fact that we could have something. that’ll never happen.  you don’t realize how much you broke that girl. sure, when you see her she’s smiling and laughing. but that’s what she wants. she doesn’t want you to see her broken in a million pieces, she doesn’t want you to see the mess you’ve made of her. you don’t see how she cries at night, when she’s truly alone. you don’t understand how empty or alone she feels when there’s no one there to wipe her tears. she can’t stand seeing you everyday and knowing that somehow, she messed up completely. knowing that you walked out on her in a snap without hearing a word from her heart, that’s what’s still breaking her.  they say a picture is worth a thousand words so i'll burn your picture tonight and i won't have a word to say.  girls were born knowing how destructive the truth could be. they learned to hold it in, tamp it down, like gunpowder in an old fashioned gun. then it exploded in your face.  next time you look at someone thinking "i wish i was that pretty," remember that another person is thinking that same thought about you.  fast replies make me feel like you actually want to talk to me, but slow replies make me think you're talking to someone better.  don't think too much, you'll think your entire life away. just close your eyes and follow your heart. i promise it knows the way.  ^lololol  no, i’m not a bitch. i’ve just been through few things, been there & done that. yes, i guess i’m cold now. but only because i once gave a damn about someone who didn’t give a damn about me. i’ve built a wall around myself, to protect my heart from more hurt and damage. i won’t believe you if you tell me you’re different. unless you stick around and prove it. words no longer mean a thing, actions are everything.  don't worry about what others think. people are always negative, don't let it bother you.  ^WOOOORD,  ^d'awwwwwwh  whenever i get a friend request on facebook from a really hot guy, i go through all my pictures to see what my life looks like to them.  ^holy shit, yes  don't come crying to me when people are treating you the way you treated me. 
30 day challenge: day 7: a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you  clarice elizabeth: (in the blue) this has been my very bestfriend for 6 years. i love this girl to death, and she changed me so much, and helps me through legit everything i love my booboo<333333 LEAVE ME GOOD FEEDBACK ;D also, follow my twitter: katiiruela |